those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize