seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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