It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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