Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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