You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
