I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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