Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
