Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
