I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
