i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
God, I missed his penis.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
