I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
