in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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