Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
