Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
