grandma shit on top of the toilet
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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