About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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