i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
