Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
