My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
