It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
