Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
