sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
