Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
