I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize