I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
