He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
