i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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