He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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