Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
