btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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