So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
