While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
