so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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