Don't make out with my wife yet
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
