you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
