you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize