ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
