Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize