I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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