I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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