Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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