My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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