so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
