Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
