you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
