Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
