There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize