isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
