My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
