that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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