so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
