i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
either way he was missing a nipple.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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