508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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