everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize