ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
