It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have tasted many bathrooms
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
