hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
