She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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