I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
