My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
