i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
