i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
