I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
