Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
