he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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