She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drunk is not a location!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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