so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
