If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize