I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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