I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You've changed since you got that strap on
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
