kristin has been a bad kristin
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
